Something called Spit arrived at Clonezone this week. It’s a brand new lube that’s actually called Spit! Its sexy tagline is “Spit to reactivate”. Yes, you’re actually advised to hock on it when it begins to run out, which I think is a pretty fucking cool selling point. So I’ve been looking forward to checking it out.

It comes in a smooth, rounded bottle with a pump-top and (to my delight) it has a safety clip so you don’t have to worry about accidentally firing it across the room when you knock the bottle. Yes, this has happened to me before, and yes, it looks like someone has cum up your wall or down your jeans.

I was advised to give the bottle a shake to ‘wake the formula up’, so when it arrived that’s exactly what I did. This created an aesthetically pleasing misty white liquid, that’s quite familiar… Okay, I’m basically trying to say it looks like cum!

Spit is water-based (though it does contain the slightest bit of silicone), it comes in a 250ml bottle and it’s misty white in colour.

It contains moisturising Aloe Vera, it’s also Paraben free, which pleased me, as I won’t use any lube with Parabens in, and it’s 100% condom friendly… I’ve purposely tested this for you, I rubbed it inside and outside two condoms; one over a large dildo I have on my desk and one on a smaller dildo. Both are still in perfect condition.

Spit’s odourless and kind of tasteless. I gave it a few licks but I can’t say I was drinking out of the bottle. I usually only ever use silicone lube (Pjur Original) exclusively, so I was curious to check Spit out.

Pushing down on the nozzle, Spit comes out thick and smooth and actually looks like a mix of cum and spit. Instantly on my skin it began to spread well and drip like cum would.

I rubbed it in and it took a long time to absorb, which kind of annoyed me as I wanted to see if the ‘spit to reactivate’ trick would actually work… Yes, I was actually moaning about a lube lasting! OK – so does spitting on it really re-activate this lube?

When it eventually began to absorb, I did what it says on the bottle and spat on it. I rubbed this in and as advertised, it began to slicken up and lubricate again. It doesn’t thicken to the original consistency but it’s a really nice slippery texture that’s ideal for anal and masturbation.

If, however, you don’t want to hock on your knob, just use a little bit of water.

I’ve had experiences in the past where certain other water-based lubes that look like cum have made my skin sensitive and almost imitated a menthol-stinging sensation. So, I wanted to try using Spit on my intimate areas, as this is where I am really sensitive.

The first place I tested was my butt, the reason being a horrible experience I had with Liquid Silk when I was coming of age, which forever put me off it… It felt like someone had squeezed a tube of Colgate up my butt!

Thankfully, Spit just felt nice and slippery. I used it with a Nexus Sparta prostate massager – which you might remember I reviewed in my first QXMen column. It worked really well. As it contains a little bit of silicone, I wouldn’t always recommend using with silicone sex toys. But as it’s such a small amount I risked it. It’s totally up to you if you want to try that at home.

My Sparta is still in perfect nick. I used Spit on my dick and balls too, kind of giving it all a rub around to see how long before it began to feel sticky or run out. I had a good few minutes of constant rubbing before it began to feel like it was absorbing. Wanking with it is kind of hot, especially if you’re in that mind-set where you’re focusing on the fact that it’s called Spit… I’m single at the moment, so I guess it isn’t taking much to turn me on!

I’m really happy to say that it didn’t get sticky, as I really hate that feeling and it never seems to wipe off properly. Especially between your legs!

No one wants sticky balls. Especially when you fool around before work and keep having to go to the bathroom to try and use face wipes to get rid of it… Just me?

• Spit is available from Clonezone in a 250ml bottle for just £7.99. Twin,  Triple and Six Packs are also available and I’m confident you’ll be back for a pack once you’ve fooled around with Spit!

WIN A SPIT SIX-PACK!

Courtesy of Topher and those nice guys at Clonezone you could win yourself a Spit six-pack! To be in with a chance, just tell us in less than fifteen words why you should win a six-pack of Spit. Email your entry with your name and address to [email protected] with Clonezone Six-Pack Comp in the subject field, or post it to QXMEN, Clonezone Six-Pack Comp, to our new address Suite 56/58 New House, 67-68 Hatton Garden, London EC1N 8JY. The competition closes at midnight on Tuesday May 31st when we’ll choose the best entry. Sorry guys but the competition’s open to UK residents only.