The fetish community is well known for its diversity – if you think something’s hot, there’s a good chance there’s a whole community of people that agree with you.
In this article, we introduce you to the B in BDSM: bondage. It’s a popular form of kinky play used to take away control from one party and give complete control to another. If you enjoy the idea of being Dominant or submissive, but don’t know where to start, bondage is a great introduction.
Bondage is practiced for many different reasons; you may wish to be dominated and tortured, or you may prefer the idea of being teased and giving up control. If you wish to take the Dom or ‘active’ role, you’ll also have a preferred level of play, aesthetic enjoyment, or particular skillset to utilise.
Blindfolds or hoods are often used in combination with being tied up, as it’s the sensory deprivation which makes the torture/teasing more intense. Not knowing what’s coming next adds a level of excitement and anticipation for the sub, while the Dom can enjoy the element of surprise.
You can use a variety of materials to restrain the sub, including rope, metal or leather cuffs, body wrap and bondage tape. The form of bondage you choose to use is down to your preferences and whatever makes you most excited and comfortable. Try a variety of materials and see which works best for you.
There are specific types of bondage, too – notably kinbaku (or Japanese rope bondage) and mummification. Kinbaku is often used for aesthetic and artistic purposes, as the rope can be weaved into patterns; you will need to practice this with someone experienced to learn the techniques. Mummification is an advanced form of bondage which involves wrapping the entire body (though you may choose to leave some gaps for sexual play).
When it comes to tying your partner, there are lots of different positions to choose from, but these can be split into several basic categories: spread out (so the legs and/or arms are far apart), body binding (e.g. hands tied together), bound to an object (such as a chair or Saint Andrew’s Cross) and body wrap (e.g. mummification). Both subs and Doms will have positions they prefer, so again, try out a variety see which ones you enjoy.
Bondage safety tips
Staying safe when practicing bondage is of upmost importance, as in extreme situations things can go wrong. Firstly, never participate in bondage with someone you don’t know or trust, as you could put yourself in danger. When you have found a suitable partner, before engaging in bondage you should discuss the rules of play, so each person knows the other’s limits. You must also come up with a safe word, sound or symbol, so play can be stopped immediately when it becomes too much for the sub.
If you’re using rope, tape or body wraps, keep a pair of safety shears nearby in case you need to release the sub immediately. Do not leave a tied-up partner alone for long periods of time, as they may become uncomfortable and need to be released. If the wrap or ties are too tight, your partner’s circulation may be cut off, so monitor this, ensure they are comfortable and their extremities have not become numb or turned blue.
Whenever trying out new kinks, it’s always a good idea to get advice or have your first experiences with guys who know what they’re doing. The key to enjoying bondage is taking it slow and exploring what you like. You should always feel comfortable saying ‘no’ to anything you are unsure about – subs can, and should, have their limits.
On 10 July 2018, Recon will be presenting the Bondage Masterclass as part of Fetish Week London. This is a great place for beginners to start talking to other guys who have an interest and experience in bondage. With people welcome of all levels, you’ll be able to meet likeminded people, learn some skills and get a great introduction to this scene.
Want to find out about different fetishes, join the recon community at www.recon.com