We all know Alan Roberts as the man behind London’s original naked party Buff at The Backstreet, Club CP, the corporal punishment club for gay men, and Suited, a monthly suit & tie dress code party, held at The Bunker Bar. But over the years Alan has had his fingers in several other pies in the gay fetish industry too. In 2002 he formed MA1 which put on groundbreaking parties at the Hoist such as MA1: Skinheads and MA1: Rubber. He also runs Cage XPress Industries, makers of bespoke dungeon equipment and AromasXpress, one of the UK’s oldest suppliers of aromas and herbal pills. Oh, and then there’s KidnapMe, which we’ll find out about later…
Hi Alan. Some might say you’re a bit of a workaholic… Might they be right?
It’s true, I did try and slow down but I always have something on the go as it were. After Union, I said “no more clubs” but Wayne dragged me up to Shoreditch and I couldn’t resist the temptation! I am trying to slow down; I ain’t no spring chicken now. But as I say, “it’s the mileage, not the age” or it the other way round!!! I also do a lot of bird watching in Norfolk that helps plus get to see lots of soldier totty too!
Tell us about KidnapMe, the kidnap fantasy service you run where guys can live out their kidnap fantasies. The website offers things like forced bootlicking, mock executions, interrogation, strip searches, house invasions and verbal abuse… But what shocked us the most was that it says that you’re fully booked until December 2014!
The kidnapping business started purely by accident as a mate of mine wanted to know what it was like when someone gets kidnapped. So meand a mate arranged for him to be kidnapped from a train at Charing Cross Station. It took quite a bit of planning but the then Connex Trains were more than helpful as long as we didn’t trash the train, the station or scare the shit out the other passengers. We donned our balaclavas and other ‘kit’ and dragged the bloke off the train into a waiting van and took him ‘up norf’ where we kept him for three days in cellar and basically abused him. At the end of it we dumped him, stripped, at a service station on the M6 at 2am in the morning! A few weeks later we got a call asking if he could do it again….. that’s another story. We are constrained by time and with the events of 9/11 and latterly 7/7, the Police take a dim view of men running around the streets of London picking people off! We do the odd session when I have time in between running clubs and other stuff.
So it’s safe to say Alan that your business interests lie firmly in the sex industry. Is this purely down to financial reasons, or is it because you’re just a big old perv?
I am a perv when it comes to kinky sex. Many who know me also know I am into heavy S&M, CP, TT, uniform sex, boots, verbal, and things have been known to get violent and extreme! Of course, the money helps as we all have bills to pay. It also helped being in the military and working for the government. Both taught me some interesting ‘Information Extraction’ techniques, which I make good use of even now!
Where and when did your empire start?
It started way back in 1986 with CXI (Cage Xpress Industries) that made metalwork for zoos, theatres and TV studios (which we still do). But a lot of people asked me about building sling frames, cages, shackles and other heavy bondage stuff. We’ve made stuff for Channel 4, Channel 5, Bond films and a few other films! Plus we also had a documentary made about metalwork and the kidnapping business that was aired on Sky TV. After CXI came MA1 that was formed between by CXI and what was known as Worldskins (Recon). We split the business up and I ended up with the clubs.
So what have you got planned for MA1’s tenth birthday?
As it’s the 10th Birthday we’ll be having a big party over at The Backstreet this month. We’ll be giving away free aromas, pills and other goodie bags, plus a few guys will get free memberships, and we’re lowering the entry price on the night as a thank you to the guys who supported us over the years.
Of all the events you’ve put on over the years, which has been your all-time favourite?
I think it has to be the Skin500 event at what was Crash. It‘s a fucking road block! We ended up using empty arches to get people in. Me and Wayne Shires were left scratching our heads to work out how to get all the people in the arches! It took months of organisation and it was the first big fetish bash London had ever seen.
No doubt you’ve witnessed things at your events that would give most guys nightmares for months… What’s been the weirdest?
I have seen it all from whippings, fistings, fighting, mega gangbangs, spit roasts galore. Weirdest thing was the well-known story at my old club in Leicester where at the end of the night we found a poodle dyed pink sitting next to a massive dildo. We have no idea how the poodle got into the venue or who owned it! More the point the dildo had been used! Nuff said!
So what have you got in store for the fetish-loving public?
I am working on other events at the moment that will take place at The Bunker Bar and The Backstreet, and I’m also doing another Cock of the Country and Rear of the Year. I’m also planning a mega sleaze party that will hopefully bring other clubs together in one place. So if you’re a club promoter or venue owner give me a shout, the more the merrier!
We heard a rumour that you were kicked out of the army because you were caught having sex with a sergeant… Is this true?
I was kicked out he army for have a shag with the serg over a bonnet of a Land Rover. But in strange twist of fate, I ended up back with the military and the government for another seventeen or so years.
Finally alan, here are your Quick Ones…
Fuck on a cold stone floor or 500 count Egyptian cotton sheets?
Stone floor.
Bush tucker or 5 star a la carte?
I have a thing for eating at The Ritz, but I’ll settle for a greasy spoon as well.
Army or skinhead?
Army. Still got all my kit and was still doing military stuff up to last December. But I still have a go on a skinhead if there is one going!!!
Leather or rubber?
Leather….. bikers… Grrrrr!
Smooth or hairy?
Smooth, but I like a good pair of hairy legs and arms!
S&M or M&S?
Umm… let me see. Defo S&M.
• Buff @ The Backstreet: Wentworth Mews, Mile End, London E3 4UA
Wednesday 7pm-11pm (Naked),
Saturday 6pm-10pm (Naked/U’Wear),
Sunday 6pm to 10pm (Naked)
• Club CP @ The Bunker Bar: 214- 217 City Road, Shoreditch, London EC1V 1JN
Every 2nd & 4th Tuesday 7pm-11pm
• Suited @ The Bunker Bar
Every 3rd Tuesday 7pm-11pm