Oi oi lads. Anyone who has ever heard me speak will know I’m a little posh boy from Cambridge but for people who only know me from ‘em dirty int’net films I’ve done they think I’m a chavy Spanish lad who spends his free time fucking bad boys and making even badderer decisions. Well they aren’t that wrong except for the chavy bit. It’s an image I’m thankful for and an image that is pretty marketable. The bottom line is: We like scally lads. I know the word is a little out of date but until we have some new slang word, we’re going to stick with the term scally. It’s just a fact of life though that if you put a lad in grey trackies and white crewe socks he gets 10 times hotter. This ‘look’ is so popular that it has led to club nights like FitLadz in London and even whole porn companies like Scottxxx and Young Bastards.
Why is this sexy? Well it’s a fetish. The definition of a fetish is a sexual attraction to a non-sexual act, item or body part. So, I can’t really answer this question very well, but I can tell you it started for me when I was in secondary school. The hot, rough, cool lads from my school would walk into the PE changing rooms in their white crewe socks and change into trackies, football shorts and leggings. I was always an outsider and not part of their group and I used to want to hang out with them and look like them. As I got more confident in my looks and in my body and as I realised awkward gay kids were also allowed to do sport and buy clothes in JD sport (up until this point I thought we were supposed to wear vans and listen to evanescence) I began dressing more relaxed and became more active.
What defines the scally fetish? Sportswear, trade jobs like painter decorator, boots and or trainers and socks.
Style wise, short haircuts and the occasional tattoo or two. Basically, that boy in the grey shorts you keep drooling over at the gym. Or the guy doing your mums kitchen you keep offering to make cups of tea for. The fetish is a fantasy scenario. You don’t need to hit the gym or know how to lay bricks (but if you can lay concrete, you’re going to make a lot of dicks pretty hard) I for example am still a scrawny little posh boy but while im wearing an old pair of trackies I suck dick like I’m the biggest bottom on the oxmoor estate! So, get out there, pop into JD sports, ask for some Lonsdale in your manliest voice and then post pics on Instagram. Some good instagrams to follow are @fetish_sox @instasoxboys and @scally_central_enjoy boys!
P.S. we all ate so much over Christmas and are rocking dad bods so I wrote this piece, so we can get away with covering up in baggy hoodies and trackies and still feel sexy. You guys are welcome.
